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Okay, my boy Keu didn’t have time to write this article this week, so he axe me to help him out. So here I be writing and shit. I don’t really know what to write except for what I know so all I know is that my name is Counterfit and I’m just a hussler in the struggle.

Like Keu be cool and all but he don’t be keeping it real. Like he be all using big words and shit and people don’t really be understanding where he’s coming from, you feel me? So I’m gonna tell you like it is and that’s that.

I’ve been reading some stuff on this site and all that but I don’t be understanding some of what be going on. Okay to tell you all the truth, I’m all about hussle and I ain’t haven’t seen anything being sold up in this piece. Like I would have been selling some shit, you dig? Like “click here motherfucka and get a free ringtone” or some shit. But that’s cool.
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Those of you who read this column regularly know that tomorrow is my birthday. To celebrate, Mr. T. and I are going to Los Angeles to visit our son, because that’s my idea of the best time. In addition, we hope to be granted an audience with the Master Of The Universe, and maybe go to DisneyLand.

Unfortunately, this means we’re leaving New York City at my favorite time of year. There are tulips blooming in myriad hues. It’s still cool enough to wear a sweater. My favorite charity event takes place tonight (and you might still be able to get tickets). In order to brace myself to leave, I’ve come up with a list of reasons to hate New York.

You’ll notice that I don’t include the standard reasons cited by the rest of the nation, that the city is full of Commie pinko Jewish homo bankers. That’s my favorite part (except maybe for the bankers, but there are many fewer of them, and the ones that remain are so needy that they’re kind of cute). No, my list is more specific and more local.

10. Our mayor has so much money in his personal fortune that he is blanketing the airwaves with commercials for his re-election campaign even though there is no one running against him yet. How much more sick of him will I be when there’s a race?

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I’m currently curating the Illustration West 47 Show at Gallery Nucleus. In The Mix will appear tomorrow, don’t tell MOTU!