Posted byat 25th May, 2009
Dick Cheney. Gotta love him.
Here’s this paranoid fuck running scared all over the nation trying to taint the jury pool. Oh, clearly Cheney’s worried about being indicted – his daughter makes that perfectly clear as she runs around the nation defending her father. The Cheneys’ defense is simple: ever since we started pulling fingernails out of Moslems, you haven’t been attacked, have you, you ungrateful asshole? Quack quack.
Well, Dick’s right. And we haven’t had any elephant stampedes, either. Only Dick (and, possibly, PeTA) knows what we’ve been doing to them. Clearly, elephants are a lot larger than old rich Republican contributors, so Cheney’s probably not shooting them. And they’re a bitch to waterboard.
So… out of all this nonsense, who’s the guy I admire the most? Well, right now – and I never, ever thought I’d be saying this – it’s Erich “Mancow” Muller, the right wing radio guy. Mancow has been defending waterboarding as “not torture,” but, unlike cowardly liars like Sean Hannity, Mancow put his mouth where his money is. He got waterboarded. Live. On the air. In front of video cameras.
He lasted all of six seconds. In torture-time, that’s three-quarters of a gallon of water. And it’s about five and a half seconds longer than I would have lasted.
As soon as he was done coughing and gagging, Mancow said “yes, this is torture.” He knew he wasn’t going to be killed, he knew it would be over in a heartbeat (the average is 14 seconds), he knew the EMS was there, and he knew he wasn’t going to back to a prison cell for sleep deprivation or stress torture. Despite all those assurances and safety-nets, he only lasted six seconds and he was immediately convinced it was torture. It was being drowned, Mancow said, and he should know. As a child, he drowned and was, obviously, revived.
Here’s the link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKfEjdAkmbs. Warning: this clip of the entire event might not be suitable for children, hydrophobes or Republicans.
He stood up for his principles, and he admitted he was wrong. Mancow manned up. I wish ex-Vice President Dick Cheney was one-third as honest as Mancow Muller.
• • • • •
It is with great pride and even greater ego that I announce my weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather show starts up this Sunday, May 31st, at www.getthepointradio.com 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed the following Thursday night at 9:00 PM Eastern. Love it or hate it or just get confused by it, you’ve never heard anything like it before. At least not since 1976.
Likewise, I’ll be adding Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants on Tuesdays, Wednesday and Thursdays, exclusively at www.getthepointradio.com. The regular Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants will continue every Monday and Friday on The Point podcasts, available right here at www.michaeldavisworld.com, as well as at www.comicmix.com, www.getthepointradio.com, www.zzcomics.com, and www.ravenwolfstudios.com. You can subscribe to The Point at iTunes by searching under “The Point Radio.”