Iran Follies: What Goes Around, by Mike Gold

You can’t make this stuff up, so we don’t!

Iran Follies: What Goes Around, by Mike Gold - Brainiac On Banjo #123

Posted by Mike Gold at 22nd June, 2009

You may have noticed that Iran’s in turmoil once again. So it’s time for another Braniac On Banjo pop quiz. Ready?

Between Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Mirhossein Mousavi, the two “leading” candidates in last week’s wacky Iranian presidential election, which one is in favor of continued local nuclear build-up? Which one is a strong supporter of Hamas and Hezbolla terrorism? Which one holds strong anti-American sentiments?

Sorry. It was a trick question. Both Ahmadinejad and Mousavi are in favor of nuclear build-up, both support Hamas and Hezbolla, and both harbor strong anti-American sentiments.

While I’m at it, in case you hadn’t heard neither guy would call the shots in Iran. Both have been, are, and will always be toadies of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Sure, the people can vote for president, but you cannot run for president without the support of the Supreme Leader and his inner-council.

Given all this, here’s the real $64,000 question. Why is the CIA backing Mousavi? Quite aside from the fact that the United States has no moral authority to tell others how to conduct free elections… isn’t this how our problems in Iran started a generation ago?

In 1953 we – the Americans and the Brits – dumped elected Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddeq and replaced him with Mohammad Reza Pahlavi… more popularly known as the Shah of Iran. It seems Mosaddeq had, ummm, nationalized British oil interests, promoted theocratic government, and had vaguely positive feelings towards the Commies. You’d think the last two comments make a nice oxymoron, wouldn’t you?

It took a whole new generation of Iranians until 1979 to get rid of the Shah and to hold America responsible for his reign. Now it’s a generation later, and once again opportunity knocks in CIA-land. The CIA: the official intelligence gathering entity of the United States. The folks who give our president exactly what he asks for, truth be damned. The folks who have no discernable sense of history.

So, what the hell, let’s do it all over again America and back a guy every bit as trustworthy as another former ally of ours, Osama Bin Laden.

It’s amazing. No matter who’s in charge, no matter what’s at stake, we Americans never learn.

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather show starts up Sundays at 7:00 PM Eastern on www.getthepointradio.com, replayed the following Thursdays at 10:00 PM Eastern. Likewise, his Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants pop up every on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday exclusively at www.getthepointradio.com. The regular Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants continue every Monday and Friday on The Point podcasts, available right here at www.michaeldavisworld.com, as well as at www.comicmix.com, www.getthepointradio.com, www.zzcomics.com, and www.ravenwolfstudios.com. You can subscribe to The Point podcasts at iTunes by searching under “The Point Radio.”

Gold is also a regular contributor to comicmix.com, and edits their online comic book content. Check out the all-new GrimJack: The Manx Cat #1, now being solicited in this month’s Diamond catalog.

Category : Brainiac On Banjo

Comments

pennie June 22, 2009

“When will they ever learn?”
“When will they ever,,,learn?”

Vinnie Bartilucci June 22, 2009

About the only thing you can say about Mousavi is that he’s slightly less batshit-insane than Ahmadinejad. And in the middle east, that’s about all you can hope for, and as good as you’re gonna get.

The torrent (an ironic choice of terms because it’s about the only internet method NOT being used to transmit news out of Iran) is serving only to further entrench the American mindset that Iran (and to a lesser degree, the entire middle east) are a bunch of crazed savages, barbarians about two generations away from riding around on camels and shooting each other over feuds thousands of years old. Rational people, so the belief goes, do not behead other people, or bring out the military in reponse to dissatisfaction over election results. They also don’t blow up abortion clinics and shoot doctors at church eaither, but forgive me for changing the subject.

This, more than anything else, should be the reason that we try to get energy independent. Whether it be by drilling our own, making advances in alternative generation methods or my eternal pipe dream of an engine powered by offense (Al Sharpton would become our most precious resource), we need to find a way of getting away from these people as fast as we possibly can, and return them to the state of politically unimportant…like most of Africa.

America has a pattern it follows - find new land or country, arrange one-sided deal with denizens, teach them the ins and outs of politics, and wait until they come back and bite us in the ass. Even the Indians are getting their revenge, one hand of Blackjack at a time.

Marc Alan Fishman June 22, 2009

What a great thought to start a great week. When will we learn Mike? Simply stated, we won’t. To quote David Cross… “But why? Why do all the bad men hate us?… Because they hate our freedom. … Really? If the terrorists hated freedom, the Netherlands would be f’n dust. “

Mike Gold June 23, 2009

“About the only thing you can say about Mousavi is that he’s slightly less batshit-insane than Ahmadinejad.” Yeah. Me, too.

Rick Oliver June 23, 2009

It’s doesn’t matter which one is slightly less or more batshit than the other. There are two reasons for us to stay out of the current turmoil in Iran:

1. They’re doing a terrific job of destabilizing their government all on their own, without our interfer…er, “help”.

2. Whatever course of action or candidate the U.S. officially supports, the Iranians will then want the exact opposite. The U.S. is the Captain Wrongway Peachfuzz to Iran’s Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Mike Gold June 23, 2009

“Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a bomb out of my hat!”
“But that trick never works…”
“THIS time for sure!”

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